ManCathlon Summit 2009

The Allies had Yalta; Gorby and Ronnie had Rekjavik (I just went obscure cold war missile defense summit reference on your ass…suck on it, history majors); and so it will be remembered that six ManCathletes assembled on April 21, 2009 at Momo's on U St. We weren’t here to discuss Maigairi’s disturbing obsession with Justin Timberlake; and it certainly wasn’t for the “Stop Gchatting My Girlfriend, Because It Fills Me with a Red Hot Jealous Rage” intervention that Carlos had planned for me later this month. All that would have to wait. Tonight was for one reason and one reason only – final agreement on all things ManCathlon.

Needless to say, tensions were running high and negotiation tactics were in full force. Maigairi dropped his requirement that SexyBack be played prior to every event so long as Blair agreed to stop insisting on 3 swimming/diving events ("How many times do I have to tell you dude, I can't swim!"). Meanwhile, I was channelling my Junior year paper on Game Theory to try to get everyone to agree to pullups as an event. The biggest challenge, of course, was working around Stoddy's dating schedule. Luckily after a bucket of beers and some enthusiastic debate, it all came together. So here it is, your Mancathlon 2009:

When: All bar events to be completed Saturday, April 25. All athletic events to be completed Sunday, May 3. Mancathlon is capped off by a Texas Hold 'Em tournament Sunday night.

April 25. Rocket Bar and Lucky Strike, Chinatown
Darts – Round robin style tourney of "Cricket".

Pool - Round robin tourney of 8-ball.

Foosball - Round robin tourney to 10.

Bowling - Best average score of 2 games played.

May 3. Virginia, Maryland and DC area

Basketball - one-on-one round robin tourney. Bonus round of most 3 pointers out of 10 attempts.

Long Run – 4 Mile Run.

"Suicides" - As performed on a standard basketball court. Free throw line, half crt line, free throw line, in-bound line and back.

Swimming – 50 yard swim.

Pullups – Most pull-ups on a standard pull-up bar in one attempt. Must touch chin and come completely down to count.

Golf – Longest drive out of 10 swings. Bonus round – closest to the hole.

Punt/Pass/Kick - Distance and accuracy to the line.

Poker (Closing Event) – Texas Hold ‘Em Tournament. Single buy-in. Play until one man left standing.

Rules: All athletes must compete in every event. For 4-mile run, athletes must finish at least 3 miles. All round robin tournaments will be played with two brackets selected at random. The top three record holders advance to the Championship round robin bracket. Tie breakers will be (1) head-to-head matchups, and then (2) Points For-Against.

Scoring: All events are scored on 3-2-1 basis to the top three finishers. Bonus round winners get a 1 point bonus. Any disputes over Ties will be settled by either Paper-Rock-Scissors (best 2 out of 3) or a re-do of the event, at the participants election.

…and with everyone in agreement, the evening came to a close. Stay tuned for results, pictures, and hopefully a funny video of someone getting hit in the nuts.

Finally, in remembrance of our predecessors, I pose the question – who of the Yalta Big 3 below would win a ManCathlon? Obviously, FDR was wheelchair bound, Churchill was fat, and Stalin had webbed feet and was plain f**king nuts, but assuming everyone was at the peak of their mental and physical abilities. We'll leave that debate for another day....