Nevertheless, it was game time….and it was time to Unleash The Fury!!!!!!
0900 - Basketball
May Madness kicked off with Marc and Andrew dominating the post and scoring at will against their sub-6-foot opponents. To add insult to injury, Stoddy appeared to be playing at a quarter speed in taking the top spot. 45 minutes into Day 2, and ManCathlon claimed its first victim of the day as Maigairi pulled up lame with an injured hamstring. Despite his pleas for us to take him out of his misery, equestrian style, his girlfriend ran to the CVS and returned with all sorts of bandages and heat wraps....Susie would not let her man go down so easily.
Stoddy – 3 pts; Marc – 2pts; Carlos – 1 pt.
1030 - Suicides
For those who have played basketball at any level, you know this to be every sadistic high school coach’s wet dream of a drill – to condition; to punish; or just for kicks. Maig’s injury seemed to put this event in play for everyone, but even a tweaked hammy can’t keep a thoroughbred at bay for long. And so running through the pain, Maigs was able to fight off a late surge by yours truly (yes, after 5 events – I had finally broken onto the ManBoard). More importantly, however, Stoddy had finally fallen – “He is not a machine….he’s a man!”
Maigs – 3 pts; Garcia – 2 pts; Marc - 1pt
For those who have played basketball at any level, you know this to be every sadistic high school coach’s wet dream of a drill – to condition; to punish; or just for kicks. Maig’s injury seemed to put this event in play for everyone, but even a tweaked hammy can’t keep a thoroughbred at bay for long. And so running through the pain, Maigs was able to fight off a late surge by yours truly (yes, after 5 events – I had finally broken onto the ManBoard). More importantly, however, Stoddy had finally fallen – “He is not a machine….he’s a man!”
Maigs – 3 pts; Garcia – 2 pts; Marc - 1pt
1100 – Pullups
Not much to comment on this one – I will let the results speak for themselves (and I include the count to both reiterate my dominance and to prove that Blair and I don’t suck at all sports, just the ones that require skill).
Garcia – 3 points (25 pullups); Blair – 2 points (11 pullups); Maig - 1pt (10 pullups)
1130 – Punt/Pass/Kick
While it may not have been clear to the patrons of the Alexandria YMCA why 6 grown men were standing in the rain and appeared to be punting or throwing a football back and forth (but not to each other), what must have been evident was that three of them clearly sucked at whatever it is they were trying to do. I blame my mediocrity on my father, who clearly did not spend enough time with me as a child fostering the Pop Warner fundamentals I would need at the age of 29. I presume Carlos and Blair feel the same way. Plus, it probably didn’t help our cause that Andrew was 2nd string punter on his high school football team and Marc and Maigari were seasoned soccer players with years of experience in kicking the shit out of a ball.
Not much to comment on this one – I will let the results speak for themselves (and I include the count to both reiterate my dominance and to prove that Blair and I don’t suck at all sports, just the ones that require skill).
Garcia – 3 points (25 pullups); Blair – 2 points (11 pullups); Maig - 1pt (10 pullups)
1130 – Punt/Pass/Kick
While it may not have been clear to the patrons of the Alexandria YMCA why 6 grown men were standing in the rain and appeared to be punting or throwing a football back and forth (but not to each other), what must have been evident was that three of them clearly sucked at whatever it is they were trying to do. I blame my mediocrity on my father, who clearly did not spend enough time with me as a child fostering the Pop Warner fundamentals I would need at the age of 29. I presume Carlos and Blair feel the same way. Plus, it probably didn’t help our cause that Andrew was 2nd string punter on his high school football team and Marc and Maigari were seasoned soccer players with years of experience in kicking the shit out of a ball.
Marc - 3 pts; Maig - 2pts; Stoddy - 1 pt
1200 – 50 Yard Swim
The event that Blair and I had been waiting for – a race between the two guys that are only good at sports that weren’t cool in high school. Unfortunately for me, the son-of-a-bitch came off the wall like a cruise missile and despite slamming his hand on the side of the pool, was able to hold off my final push in the last 15 yards to take the gold by just under a second. Meanwhile, Jenny, the on-duty lifeguard, sprang into Defcon 3 the moment Carlos and Maigari entered the pool. Much like a grizzly knows when her cubs are in danger; Jenny could sense that these guys did not belong in the water. Against all odds, and defying many-a-bookmaker in Vegas, Carlos and Maigari made it to one end of the pool and back without drowning, exhibiting a swimming style that can best be described as a hybrid between doggie paddle and a dying duck trying to stay above water. Hoping to showcase her skills, I’m sure Jenny was a little disappointed.
Blair – 3 pts; Garcia – 2pts; Stoddy - 1pt
1200 – 50 Yard Swim
The event that Blair and I had been waiting for – a race between the two guys that are only good at sports that weren’t cool in high school. Unfortunately for me, the son-of-a-bitch came off the wall like a cruise missile and despite slamming his hand on the side of the pool, was able to hold off my final push in the last 15 yards to take the gold by just under a second. Meanwhile, Jenny, the on-duty lifeguard, sprang into Defcon 3 the moment Carlos and Maigari entered the pool. Much like a grizzly knows when her cubs are in danger; Jenny could sense that these guys did not belong in the water. Against all odds, and defying many-a-bookmaker in Vegas, Carlos and Maigari made it to one end of the pool and back without drowning, exhibiting a swimming style that can best be described as a hybrid between doggie paddle and a dying duck trying to stay above water. Hoping to showcase her skills, I’m sure Jenny was a little disappointed.
Blair – 3 pts; Garcia – 2pts; Stoddy - 1pt
1230 – Lunch
The term feeding frenzy doesn’t do justice to what transpired at the Five Guys in Alexandria, VA. I’ll estimate that in excess of 10,000 calories were collectively consumed. It was glorious.
1330 – Golf
We headed over to Topgolf (http://www.topgolfusa.com/) - this isn’t your grand-daddy’s driving range. As Marc busted out his Big Bertha, with a driving head the size of my face, I knew we were all in trouble. With the form of Roy McEvoy and the power of Jon Daly on the one day of the year he’s actually sober, Marc went so far as to crush one 285 yards. But, proving that golf is as much about finesse as it is about power, Maigari claimed the top spot, owing to his precision with the wedge and the 7-iron. Given the shanking exhibition Carlos, Blair and I were putting on, I’m pretty sure even the E*Trade baby would’ve spanked our ass.
The term feeding frenzy doesn’t do justice to what transpired at the Five Guys in Alexandria, VA. I’ll estimate that in excess of 10,000 calories were collectively consumed. It was glorious.
1330 – Golf
We headed over to Topgolf (http://www.topgolfusa.com/) - this isn’t your grand-daddy’s driving range. As Marc busted out his Big Bertha, with a driving head the size of my face, I knew we were all in trouble. With the form of Roy McEvoy and the power of Jon Daly on the one day of the year he’s actually sober, Marc went so far as to crush one 285 yards. But, proving that golf is as much about finesse as it is about power, Maigari claimed the top spot, owing to his precision with the wedge and the 7-iron. Given the shanking exhibition Carlos, Blair and I were putting on, I’m pretty sure even the E*Trade baby would’ve spanked our ass.
Maig - 3 pts; Marc - 2 pts; Stoddy - 1 pt
1630 – Bowling
As we cruised over to Alexandria Lanes, it was clear we had ventured into the wrong side of the tracks…which in Virginia, basically just means you feel like you’re in West Virginia. As Blair remarked, “they don’t like blacks, gays or Mexicans here….does not bode well for us”. Stoddy and Marc continued their dominance in the games played best drunk portion of the ManCathlon, with 140+ after the first 10 frames. Meanwhile, Carlos continued his streak of finishing just out of the money, with another 4th place...proving that in ManCathlon, much like in life, it is better to be really good at a few obscure things and suck at all others, than to be kinda good at all things. Sorry 'Los, maybe next year we'll change the scoring.
1630 – Bowling
As we cruised over to Alexandria Lanes, it was clear we had ventured into the wrong side of the tracks…which in Virginia, basically just means you feel like you’re in West Virginia. As Blair remarked, “they don’t like blacks, gays or Mexicans here….does not bode well for us”. Stoddy and Marc continued their dominance in the games played best drunk portion of the ManCathlon, with 140+ after the first 10 frames. Meanwhile, Carlos continued his streak of finishing just out of the money, with another 4th place...proving that in ManCathlon, much like in life, it is better to be really good at a few obscure things and suck at all others, than to be kinda good at all things. Sorry 'Los, maybe next year we'll change the scoring.
Marc - 3pts (138 ave score); Stoddy - 2 pts (132 ave score); Maig - 1 pt (123 ave score)
1800 – 4 Mile Run
The last event of the day. Not much to write about a 4 mile run, except to say that each of us battled some form of fatigue, cramps and/or injury to finish the day off strong. And so, not less than 10 hours after we had begun, we concluded ManCathlon Day Two on the Mount Vernon Trail, just as the sun set on Alexandria. Good job, boys.
Garcia – 3 pts; Blair – 2 pts; Marc - 1 pt
With only Texas Hold ‘Em left, Stoddy’s lead ensures that he will emerge the victor of this year’s ManCathlon…but the fight for 2nd and 3rd is still very much alive. Your updated ManBoard:
The last event of the day. Not much to write about a 4 mile run, except to say that each of us battled some form of fatigue, cramps and/or injury to finish the day off strong. And so, not less than 10 hours after we had begun, we concluded ManCathlon Day Two on the Mount Vernon Trail, just as the sun set on Alexandria. Good job, boys.
Garcia – 3 pts; Blair – 2 pts; Marc - 1 pt
With only Texas Hold ‘Em left, Stoddy’s lead ensures that he will emerge the victor of this year’s ManCathlon…but the fight for 2nd and 3rd is still very much alive. Your updated ManBoard:
Stoddy - 17
Marc - 13
Marc - 13
Maigari - 11
Garcia - 10
Blair - 8
Carlos - 6
